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Discussion in 'Society and Culture' started by ethics, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Violet, I've never been in therapy (not that I couldn't have done with a bit of it myself from time to time, LOL!), but I guess the therapist has to dig up all that stuff so she'll know what makes you tick. I hope the worst of that is over now, and you can begin to reap the benefits soon.

    Cats and kittens can fall from great heights, land on their feet, and walk away. They seem to have a built-in stabilizer. I don't think God is punishing you for anything. You come across to me as a very kind and loving person who is also very hard on herself! ;)

    That's good news about your dad! I hope you have a lovely Father's Day weekend with him, Violet!

    I probably won't be around here much today as I have a truckload of weeds to get rid of outside. Some of them are taller than I am, although that's not saying much. We've had a very rainy spring. It's almost been like living in Seattle.
  2. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    I just have it in my head I was purposely trying to hurt them or something, since I knew they were babies and still went along with what the neighbor kids were doing. I love animals, and I have that in my head from age 5. I wouldn't intentionally hurt one, but I knew it could hurt them or something, or that's what I thought at the time, and still did it. Even if it wasn't true, I should have told the other kids to stop or I'd tell on them but I didn't. I watched while the other kids did it, then did one toss myself. I remember it landed ok, but I was so disgusted with myself and them that I ran into the house, and got in trouble for even going outside. LOL Eye eye eye. Yeah Allene, you're right I'm sure. I know you're right about me being too hard on myself sometimes. I was little, and didn't know exactly. I think we all knew cats always landed on their feet, but the kittens were small, and I always thought I should have stopped it instead of being so fascinated I did it too. You believe this? I can't remember some really good stuff from back then, but I remember this??? Amazing how the mind works sometimes. LOL

    And it's funny that whenever anything bad has happenned to me since that day, I blame myself because I tossed a kitten. Everything. God's wrath? It sounds silly, but I'm being honest here. I've always had that come to mind. Just pops in...oh those kittens again. God's punishing me. LOL
  3. Kluge

    Kluge Observing your world for over 50 years

    My buddy has a plan for a perpetual motion machine. He says if you drop a piece of toast it will always land butter side down, and if you drop a cat it will always land on its feet. So he says if you strap a piece of toast butter side up on the back of a cat, and then drop it, the two of them together will just keep spinning and spinning.

    Sorry about your dad, Vio, I hope you all find some peace.
  4. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Hi Violet,

    Taking a break from the weeds! Yes, I understand. I remember a lot of things from my childhood that really aren't that important now, but they were very significant to me when they were actually going on. As for telling on the kids, sometimes that doesn't work very well. I went around with a pack of boys when I was a kid (6-11 years). They routinely discriminated against me, and I was always telling on them. First my mother said, "Well that's what you get for running around with all those boys." Next, the boys got even with me in various ways--one of the worst was when they turned on an electric fence when I was leaning on it. After my hair stopped standing on end, I told them I was going home to tell my mother about it, and so on and on it went in circles. Age eventually put an end to the situation. ;)
  5. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Ugh. Don't weeds stink? LOL I have to wait until I have a really good day to get at my weeds in the front gardens these days.

    It was the boys that were doing this and that's probably why I didn't tell on them. I knew if I did, the girls on the block were outnumbered, so they'd get me back in some way. I'm talking like 1971 before it was illegal to bully too, so they could have made my life heck. One of them was even in my class. You're right and sorry to hear you had to go through the picked on stuff, when you were just being a good girl.
  6. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Yes, weeds are the pits! I was out for at least 4 hours yesterday and still have a lot more to do. They are worse than I've ever seen them since we moved here. I'll try to do more this afternoon after I get back from volunteering at the historical society.

    In the 1950s boys outnumbered girls in my immediate neighborhood, too, but I also found their activities more interesting (fishing, etc.). Don't feel too sorry for me; I was personally giving them the "what for" in addition to reporting them to my mother, LOL! One of my two brothers was among them, so he got an earful!
  7. m1taylo

    m1taylo Full Member

    Hey Vio.
    Sorry things are going this way. Please don't let the circumstances get the best of you. Unfortunately there is a time for every season.

    Ecclesiastes 3
    A Time for Everything
    1 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under heaven:
    2 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

    3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

    4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

    5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

    6 a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

    7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

    8 a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

    We do not call the times for these things to happen. They happen in the time set for them. For now you weep, but a time will come to laugh. For now you mourn, but a time will come to dance. Take heart in these words that just like the sun rises every morning, you will wake in the sunshine again. Every rose that buds and every tree that grows fruit is proof that new life comes after a season.

    As far as the kitten situation, I found the most effective tool I learned in therapy is the "video camera therapy". Take the kitten situation and view it like you are watching a film of the event. Watch to see what really happened and not how you feel about what happened. You may discover the video shows a curious child making a simple experiment. Nothing bad or harmful. Just curiosity.

    "The Lord bless you and keep you--the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace." Numb. 6:24-26.
    1 person likes this.
  8. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    I have dead lupins to clear here too, in my gardens. i planted wildflower seed in the garden beds, not knowing they grow in all weed looking. most of the cosmos faded now, but the lupins come in hard when they come. they're just about totally ready to be pruned back now, then I'll weed and get things looking less jungle like in those beds.

    Thank you very much m1taylo. Beautiful words and meanings.
  9. Swamp Fox

    Swamp Fox Veteran Member


    Are you back to selling soap and candles?
  10. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    no stanley. had to put that on hold when sales went too low. the economy hitting the way it did, not long after i started killed my sales. i have to make enough to pay the insurance and stuff, to be able to do it. one day i'll start it back up again. for now, it's on hold because i can't risk operating without insurance.
  11. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    I'm glad stanley has his priorities all set. Soap, dude?
  12. Biker

    Biker Administrator Staff Member

    He's out of lotion. :jerk:
  13. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Stanley was a good customer and used my products for his lawyer friends and stuff, for gifts, so I can understand why he's asking. It's all good. I know where he's coming from when he posts. ;)

    Yay, today will be off on the painful ride to NY/NJ to see my daddy. I can't wait. It will be extra nice because he's down by my brother and I'll get to see my sister in law and nephews as well as my brother who's always at my father when I visited last visit. My youngest nephew is walking now and hitting all the milestone marks which we're all very thankful for considering my oldest nephew is autisitic, but still, he's doing very well. His mother is a kindergarten teacher and he's got the best school for this stuff, luckily in his area. That was such a blessing to find out where they bought their house, when they needed a school that focused on autism, the best was right near them. Thank God. He's 4 now, and all the help he gets is doing so good for him. He's an extremely intelligent little boy, but he's got the everything goes in the mouth thing, and likes to do his own thing but his speech has improved a lot with all the school and private speech he gets. That little one couldn't have had any better parents than my brother and his wife. And through all this, with my brother working then going right to my father, her mother is newly retired and lives close by and helps out tremendously with the boys. By the time my brother gets home, she's on her way home for the night. She's having fun eating those boys up and helping out where she can, and I thank God they have family that can do that to help them that way right now. She's such a good woman and even goes to visit my dad when she can and he enjoys her company. God bless her.

    Anyway, I've been up since 6 getting last laundry done for things we might need, and noting numbers on a paper and all to take along. So many of my friends down there laying guilt on me that if I pass through, to stop and say hi. I just get afraid of being kidnapped for too long. This visit could be 2-4 days, so I'll see if I can do, if just a quick cup of coffee and hugs. Miss them all so much, but we talk on facebook and phone. We'll see. My dad is happy I'm coming down this weekend. He's been asking the past two days when I'll be by him. LOL I can't wait. Every second I can, I want to sit with him and talk to him. Cherish the time we have right now.

    The tears don't come as much which is a good thing for the family here. I didn't like it happeneing in front of the kids especially, but they understand more than you'd think, at age 7 and 10. My kids can be pain in asses, like all kids can be, but they're very understanding when it comes to me with our family. They're great kids. I musta done something right with that situation. ;)
  14. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Violet, you're probably on the road by now. Just wanted to wish you a safe trip and quality time with family and friends!

    I'm heading out to weed some more today. It rained most of yesterday, which means the weeds grew another four inches. Ugh!
  15. cmhbob

    cmhbob Did...did I do that? Staff Member

    Yeah, but the ground is softer now, so they'll be easier to pull. :)
  16. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Yep! That's what I call seeing a glass half full! The sun is out, too, the birds are all singing, and this place is starting to look like Ireland from all that rain.
  17. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    home and will post more tomorrow. been a long day here. dad fell again but is ok thank God.
  18. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Hi Violet!

    Welcome back! Sorry to hear that your father fell, but it's good that he is okay.
  19. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    He goes into the hospice area of the facility on the 12th. He lost his voice again so even a phone call can't happen. Last thing he said clearly to me was, "i gotch your nose", and asked me if i rememembered that. Of course I do. My poor brother too. It's killing him to see my dad this way daily. OMG what a freakin nightmare life can turn into sometimes. :( And of course we just got back, and I want to go back down. Husband has to work and daughter starts summer school on the 12th. Appt's with everything from teeth...I hate being so far. I hate it super a lot right now. Damn trees. :(
  20. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    Hi Violet,

    It is good that your dad has access to a hospice. The ones I've heard of were all taking good care of their patients. Of course, that will probably be little comfort to you.

    Yes, life can certainly be hard at times, and it's tough to be so far away from your father right now. Hang in there. We are all keeping you in our thoughts or prayers or both.

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