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Sad Day

Discussion in 'Issues Around the World' started by cdw, Jan 15, 2003.

  1. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    Today I witnessed one of the sadest things other than a funeral, although, I felt like I was going to one.
    My husband and I had to accompany his sister and husband to the criminal court house. There we watched her son, 21, get sentenced to 3 years in jail, handcuffed and escorted off. He looked so little. None of us have had to deal with this before. We all realize he's got to pay the price and that justice is being done, but it was so sad. And senseless... he got caught selling drugs.
    He wasn't the kind to be close to us.... ya know a smart ass kid that wanted nothing to do with the older folks. But, since he was caught, and his case took so long, he had started changing his attitude and started visiting and becoming a part of the family unit. He really is a pretty sensitive intelligent kid.
    We all had tears streaming down our faces. It just was so sad to see one of our own handcuffed and taken away just like you see on TV.
    Hopefully he can get into the program for first time offenders...they call it shock, which is like a tough boot camp kind of thing. I would hate to see him in the regular system for any real length of time.... I don't know how it would effect him.

    Anyway, I know it had to be done, I know it was his just due, it just was so sad. So friggin' stupid. (sigh)
  2. bruzzes

    bruzzes Truthslayer

    I feel for you cyd...

    It is so difficult when someone you love won't listen and has got to do it their way. Please keep in touch with him. Maybe this will bring him closer to his family. People can change and sometimes life teaches the hard lessons. My prayers are with you and yours...
  3. Advocat

    Advocat Viral Memes a Speciality Staff Member

    I'm sorry that you and your family had to go through this, cydweeks. It's a terrible thing to see something like this, which not only to a family member involved, but the entire family.

    It's something that people involved in these kinds of criminal activities never seem to think about... that anything that happens to them (and jail is not the worst, when it comes to dealing in drugs), also happens to their family.

    I hope your family pulls together and supports each other. Anger, guilt and "hindsight" can create arguements and rifts in families during an event like this... don't let them.

    I hope things turn out well
  4. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Cyd, I too am very sorry for your nephew's troubles. The only thing I can to you is to have faith that because he's so intelligent and sensitive, this experience will have a positive effect on his life. I know that it doesn't seem like it right now - how could 3 years in jail be called a good experience!??! But trust that things happen for a reason, and in the end, it'll work out.
  5. mikepd

    mikepd Veteran Member

    Cyd, fine words well said by one and all. Family must come together at a time like this and not be drawn apart. He is still so very young and has his whole adult life ahead of him. If he does well in the boot camp, he can turn this around and never go back. He needs all the support he can get to do that. He faces a tough road but with enough support and the will to change, he can walk it. All the best.
  6. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    Thanks to all for the kind words. Yes, it's definately a family thing.... even the judge said to him that he could see his family there, that this is hurting us more than him. And, that he's not happy sentencing a 21 year old kid, although he's considered a man, but he had to. And also that John should realize this is just a blip on the screen of life. To make the changes that need to be made, come out, be a part of his supportive family and do the right thing.
    The judge was really a nice guy. We'll start writing him and such as soon as we get the info. I think he'll be local for the next couple of weeks before he's sent upstate, so we'll go visit too....if he wants. I don't know if it will be too upsetting or what, so we'll follow his mom's lead. Tough situation actually... usually you know what to do, but no one really prepares you for this stuff, so you haven't a clue whats good to do, what isn't.
  7. FrankF

    FrankF #55170-054

    Sorry your nephew got tangled up with the law. I agree with above posts... if he has the will to turn things around (looks like he has a couple of years to think about it), and family support... he can.
    I had my share of run-ins with the law between 16-18. Got arrested for burglarizing a pharmacy when I was 16... spent a day in jail. Then a couple of weeks later I got caught selling the drugs the police didn't find the first time at school... spent another 5-6 days in jail. Got six months unsupervised probation for those. When I was 17 I got expelled from high school for possessing drugs at school. Then when I was 18 I got arrested again for possesion of marijuana and public intoxication in a city park. Spent another 3-4 days in jail.
    I remember the last time when my mother came to visit me in jail... we looked at each other through that 4X6 inch thick window and I asked when she was going to bail me out (again)... she said "sorry, not this time".
    That was a wakeup call for me... I figured out if I do the crime I gotta do the time... mommy and daddy aren't going to keep bailing me out. Luckily I got six months in jail (suspended) in return for satisfactorily completing six months probation.
    I thought the city I grew up in might be part of the problem (I knew every druggie in town, and every Cop in town knew me) and decided to leave... with my Probation Officer's blessing.
    Moved to California, finished high school (yup... five years high school), went to college and got an Engineering degree... been steadily employed 26 years...and have managed to stay out of trouble for the past 28 years.
    I hope your nephew can put the bad times behind him too.
  8. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    What a wonderful turn around! I know it's a wee bit late, but congrats! Yes, I hope that he also does a turn around and does the right thing. I am hoping that he gets the Boot camp thing... I believe it would be the best for him. It scares me to think that he would be in the upstate prison facility with all of those that are there for every kind of crime you can think of. He did seem to come around, but, as we all know, that can be temporary or fake.
    I'm keeping my fingers crossed and will stay involved.
  9. IamZed

    IamZed ...

    I also had a very dark childhood. I somehow did not believe I would live to see thirty. When I turned about 22 or so for reasons I do not know but will be forever grateful of it just stopped. Life became manageable and I never got in trouble again.
    I truly hope this for your nephew. If he is as sensitive and bright as you say I would fairly count on it. We just hired a man straight from a three year stretch and he is in good mind and soul so jail can be survived without necessarily damaging an individual. Just let him know he is in your thought.

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