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Online Dating

Discussion in 'Issues Around the World' started by ethics, Nov 7, 2002.

  1. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    The Wall Street Journal is running <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB1036533515435168988,00.html">a story on</a> how couples who meet online often have trouble confessing to friends and relatives that they did so. This despite a surge in the use of dating services.

    Instead, many stick with prettied up stories about being introduced by friends, meeting at work, or meeting at church.

    They often don't tell the truth until things get serious -- and sometimes not at all. Meeting online sounds to many like a risky act of desperation, not to mention all those stories about Web maniacs. It's at least one rung lower than meeting in a singles bar. Do people agree that it 'looks better' to have met you future life partner on a random night at a 3:00 AM club dance floor than rationally selecting a good match online?

    I've only found someone once through BBS (before the web) while not really looking. She happens to be a member of this forum and not my wife. We actually lived together for about 9 months. While it didn't work out, it was still a very positive relationship (you better agree, Michelle ;)).
     
  2. RRedline

    RRedline Veteran MMember

    I met my parter of three years on gay.com. I never hide that fact to anybody. ;)
     
  3. wapu

    wapu Veteran Member

    Yea, but gay guys are "expected" to meet in seedy ways.;)


    She is a member and not your wife? Where is she? We need some dirt on our frien Leon.;)

    I tease a co-worker who is trying to meet people at Match or yahoo or AOL. I probably shouldn't. I guess it is better than my wifes cousin who yelled "Hey Baby" at a guy at a stop light and ended up dating him. Then she found out he was married and in the Army and had kids with his wife who lived on base. Online dating is not that bad anymore.


    wapu
     
  4. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    I would agree. More women are now online, and many of them are not shy, scared type.

    Btw, great sig. :)
     
  5. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Online dating is the way to go. Incredible market out there, boys and girls. I endorse it fully, but still recommend you be smart about it.

    SM
     
  6. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Speaking from experience?
     
  7. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Absolutely. Want names and phone numbers...or will pictures do? ;)

    SM
     
  8. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Hehe, I've known you long enough to believe your written word.

    Give us some hints as to what to look out for?
     
  9. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Depends...what's the quarry? Casual dating? Sex? Relationship? Marriage?

    No, no...you're not ready for that last one...

    SM
     
  10. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    I am not ready for any of the above. Just wondering what does a guy or a gal need to look out for when using online dating.

    To get you started, please tell us how to look for women who are safe. Not freaks who order water and salad at the restaraunt and then YELL their head off because you opened the door for them.

    For women, how do you know the guy you are about to meet is safe?
     
  11. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Well, it really depends on what you're gunning for.

    Sex is extremely easy, and it can be accomplished without a lot of pretense. For men, don't brag--every woman you'll be corresponding with has heard how every man's tool could satisfy the Holland Tunnel, and chances are equally good they could open a museum for dick pics. Ladies, suffer through the fools, because there are some good ones out there.

    For dating, you have to be sharper and on top of your game. Lots of flakes and extremely desperate people out there looking for "the One." Interview your marks extensively. Don't be a dope, send current pictures, not ones taken four years and forty pounds ago. Start with email and online chats, then graduate to the telephone. If you haven't moved to the phone within two weeks, forget it--that's Moore's Law, no forward motion = mission failure. RTB and wait for the next OPORDS.

    One you make it to the phone, you can get a better handle on the individual. You'll know if you like what you hear.

    I never meet anyone just from email alone. I always take some time to get to know the person first a bit. I'll never make contact with someone and then meet them a day or two later. Number one, I don't want to hook up with a psycho. Number two, I really dislike being jumped by a jealous lover or husband. And if someone's not willing to speak with me on the phone, then they're hiding something, and to hell with that. I'm not Mickey Spillane. Mysteries of that order do not intrigue me.

    For my money, Match.com sucks. Matchmaker.com is somewhat worse, and it also gives you the neat, rather debilitating option of being able to see who read your message, and if they deleted it without responding. Always a little something to lift your spirits. Yahoo Personals is pretty OK, as is FriendFinder. (And for those of you who crave more lascivious hookups, head for Hotmatch.com.)

    How's that for a start?

    SM
     
  12. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    I met my hubby online - and when we decided that we like each other enough to meet in person, we did so in a BIG ASS group - we met on a BBS in Miami, and he was a sysop on the bbs, so he set up a giant GT (get together) and that's how we met. We then went out a few times with friends from the website, but it was maybe 2 or 3 times - then we went out alone, and 1 month after we met, we started dating officially - December 23rd actually, since that's the day we introduced each other to our parents :)

    Been together ever since - now going on 8 years :)
     
  13. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Excellent, professional, well rounded post. Thanks, exactly what I wanted to see.

    The thing with online dating is that IT HAS A BAD STIGMA! I'm no dog, exercise, not fat, and pretty decent guy so why Online Dating? What does it have, say, over going to a bar and trying to hook up?

    I am not on the market yet, perhaps soon, perhaps never, but at least I have some ideas about this new option.
     
  14. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    I think going to a bar limits you to a certain type of woman. Meeting someone online increases your chances of finding someone that might better match you, since I think there is a more diverse population of women online than in bars.

    I admit, I've never gone cruising for boys at a bar - to me, that's seedy and is just a way of looking for a 1 night stand, not a guy I would take home to meet my mom and little sister, you know? But a guy I met online, I dunno - maybe I'm just a geek chick, but I'd rather take home a boy who I met online rather than some boy I met at a bar.

    And I did, too :)
     
  15. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Ok, definitely a good point.

    How about someone from work vs. online?
     
  16. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Online dating beats the bars 100 times in my book. Tell you what, I'd rather suffer through emails that are never returned than some chica tossing a brandy manhattan in my face when I'm at my most suave.

    As far as the stigma goes, what can I say? I have no problems telling my friends I hooked up with a girl over the internet, but my parents...well, that's a different aspect. Both of my parents feel the internet is evil, and I think that would color their perceptions of anyone I might introduce to them in a most negative fashion.

    Beyond that, I think anyone born from 1955 on should have no issues with it. If they turn their nose up at it and pooh-pooh it, fine by me. I'm having a great time, and my hit ratio has gone up almost exponentially from when I was working the tried-and-true method of traditional networking.

    SM
     
  17. HaYwIrE

    HaYwIrE Banned

    I operated heavy equipment all of my life. Never touched a computer.

    Then, back in January of '97, I was walking across the street and a car hit me doing 50mph. Phukked me up purdy bad.

    During my 8 months of physical therapy, I started college for computers, as my Orthapedic Surgeon said that I'lll never work construction again. <small>(LITTLE DID HE KNOW I'D RECOVER 100%)</SMALL>

    Sitting in my living room one day... leg still in a cast... neck brace on... I looked like Hell warmed over... I'm watching Jenny Jones, <small>(HEY! LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT! THERE AIN'T SHIT ON FOR DAYTIME TELEVISION, AND I DON'T DO SOAPS!)</SMALL> and it's an episode about couples who were madly inlove with one another... engaged to be married in fact... yet they were meeting each other face to face for the first time that day on the show.

    So I'm laying there thinking, "<i>What a bunch of fuckin' losers! Lemme get on this chat thing and give these no life having geeks a piece of my mind!</i>"

    I spend a while figuring out how to download mIRC... another hour or so figuring out how to use the damned thing... and end up in a chat room. Wasn't quite sure what to do next, so I just watched for a while. All I see is "LOLs" and "ACK!s" and big funky looking ASCII popups.

    Finally, I just start typing...

    "<b>YOU FUCKIN' LOSERS!!... GET A LIFE!! ARE YOU THAT HARD UP THAT YOU CAN'T MEET PEOPLE IN THE 'REAL WORLD'?!?!!</b>"

    HA! I was gettin' them goooood! God damned losers! :happy:

    That's when I found out that you can get kicked out of these chat rooms. [​IMG] But, no problem... I just went right back in and let 'em have it again...

    "<b>WTF IS YOU PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS?? ARE YOU THAT ISOLATED FROM REALITY THAT YOU HAVE TO COME HERE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE REAL PEOPLE?!?!?!</B>"

    That's when I found out that you can get banned from these chat rooms. Actually, I think I found out what "Nuking" was right around that time, too. :(

    So I go and find me a chat room that I wasn't banned from and just sit there a while. I watch. I read. I see all of these nicks in a column over to the right and for some reason I double click on one.

    I thought my screen went blank, because I didn't realize just yet that I was in a "private room" with somebody with the nickname "AbbyNormal" <small>(FROM THE MOVIE YOUNG DR. FRANKENSTEIN)</SMALL>

    All of a sudden, one word pops up... "<i>Hi.</i>" I'm thinking to myself, "<i>Uh ohhhh... WTF did I do now!</i>" So, I just typed back... "<i>Hi. Who are you?</i>".

    Anyways, to shorten this up a bit...

    I started chatting with this chick from Texas <small>(I WAS STILL IN THAT SHITHOLE... WASHINGTON DC)</SMALL> and ended up exchanging phone numbers. I had a $400 phone bill in November and a $600 phone bill in December of '97.

    I always wanted to visit Texas, and I reeeeeeaaaaaally liked this chick from Texas, so I told her I was coming down for a couple of weeks to visit.

    I haven't left since. We got married shortly thereafter and had a beautiful baby boy a little over a year ago. Now I call my getting hit by that car back in '97 the best thing that ever happened to me since I lost my virginity.

    I also tell everyone that I turned into the kinda person I used to beat up in high school... a big geek. My wife always jokes around telling everyone to beware of keeping their virus definitions up to date, and if they don't believe her to just look at the 6'2", 240lb virus SHE downloaded!

    Or <b>IS</b> she joking?? [​IMG]
     
  18. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Good to know we both reversed courses in life and swapped places. I'll be down to kick the shit out of you in December, motherfucker. :)

    Just kidding, of course.

    SM
     
  19. HaYwIrE

    HaYwIrE Banned

    Take into account where I moved to. Down here in Texas...

    <li> We play with guns more than we play with our dicks.
    <li> We don't take any shit from anyone.
    <li> There's lots of desert that a person can get... "<i>lost</i>" in.
    <li> And I'm still 6'2", 240lbs and can kick any geeks <small>(AND MOST NON-GEEKS)</SMALL> ass that crosses my path.

    And let's also not forget that I lived and worked some of the worst places in Washington DC. Anyone who can survive the streets of DC for 13 years is not someone to fuck with. Hell! Texans fear me! :_
     
  20. midranger4

    midranger4 Banned

    Haywire,

    A most enjoyable read and likely one that explains quite a bit about you and some of your most unique personality traits.

    Very well composed post with a healthy dose of inner perspective.

    Kudos you prick ;)
     

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