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New Rule Addition

Discussion in 'General Questions' started by Biker, May 3, 2004.


Should dramatic goodbyes result in the account being cancelled?

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
  2. No

    1 vote(s)
  1. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    Thanks Vi, but I guess I'm still clueless, and haven't seen a major enough problem to warrant this drastic of a solution. Maybe it's because I'm only usually on during the day M-F and bad stuff happens at nights or weekends. I don't know? I guess the bottom line for me is that it seems like we are making a mountain out of a mole hill.
  2. LissaKay

    LissaKay Oh ... Really???


    nevermind ...
  3. joseftu

    joseftu ORIGINAL Pomp-Dumpster

    Don't feel bad, Gregg...I'm clueless, too.

    And I 'm beginning to suspect that I'm actually one of the culprits!

    Biker, if the stress on the moderators can be reduced in any way--that would be a good thing. I hope not to have increased it.
  4. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    I voted yes because I'm tired of the theatrics. When I publically say I'm leaving, it'll be just that. I don't need to attract the attention or hope that people would beg me to stay (cuz the ensuing silence would likely be deafening). I live life fast and lean. It suits me better.

    But Joe...I'm not saying goodbye just yet. So get that look of disappointment off your face, professor. ;)

  5. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    I am sorry many of you didn't see how serious this is.

    Let's just say that this forum is in serious consideration of being closed up and be done with, for good--I will give plenty of time for people to export their blogs and PM's. No, it's not April Fools, I am serious, and it's not about just Misu, she just happened to be the last person to break the camel's back. How's that for drama?

    I don't know how many times I've stated that Mods and Admins are volunteers, ALL of the members do not pay any membership fees like you do with BBR (for the "better forum access at least). Their staff, much of it, is paid by Justin. I can't afford to pay anyone here and they are mods and admins because they love this forum so much that they want to make it better. In some ways, I tried to have a little fun with dollar system and free subscriptions based on participations. But even that got poopooed for God forbid someone voted a post of yours down. Whatever, it got nixed.

    There's no ads here, there's no donations here (other than the people we choose to help in the time of need). I am sure plenty of staff members from BBR would love nothing more than to see this place explode, blow up, and be done with, I am even more sure about some of the BBR members thinking and hoping the same.

    To ask for a popular vote, and getting Tom--out of being a fair and good person to oblige-- and then to pad the vote with Vylkrye, Midranger, Largeman and ACat? Oh, all great people, but I wonder how they feel about doing this while not even being on this forum for at least a 9 months to a year? But hey, it looks like a vote against the "establishment" so come on over and vote away!!! As long as Vylks is here, please tell Paladin I said hi and a huge thanks in his advice about I never accepting money FOR the forum.

    Speaking of friends, Shiny said something about that way up. I THOUGHT I had many. I have a very small group of people who genuinely care not just me or others but about the forum as a whole. I'd rather people think I was an asshole and pay some mind to the forum and to their fellow posters. To state that I am leaving or causing some drama in some other ways is not only disrespectful to mods and admins but the fellow men and women who post alongside you. To cause ANY form of drama, that is.

    I could care less if there's a mass exodus from here, I could care less if people get offended because many of you stopped giving a fuck about the rest of the fellow members and the forum. This isn't a forum for some of you, it's a playground where you can see how many strings you can pull. You live in a miserable world and you just can't stand it when others are happy? I can show you a forum where you can be miserable together.

    I am very passive person, but there's a limit, it has been reached and went way above the threshold. Congrats to those that set out for this conclusion, and please save the, "no, it's not what we meant, you are over-reacting" bit, this has been going on for only the amount of time only other mods can know about.

    My leave was to take a break solely from the bullshit of the forum has become lately, but even that was cut short because this was blown up and NOT by the mods. It's not fun for me and I am frustrated at spending so much personal time in making this a better place. If you don't care, why should I continue to do so?
  6. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    All right, that's it, you freaking puss! I'm...staying.

  7. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Leon, I'm really sorry that this forum is causing you so much trouble. I honestly didn't realize the troubles that were happening behind the scenes. I love this forum and I honestly don't think I come here as a playground - I come here to discuss things with others. If it comes off that I am disrespecting this place, I'm sorry, that's not my intent.

    I'll be honest - I'm glad this isn't 'just because of Misu', because I was beginning to think I must have touched a major nerve for getting hurt by what I perceived as a slur. But in a way I'm sorry I logged on Saturday, because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have seen the conversation, I wouldn't have said anything, and life would be the way it was before Saturday. But I did, and things happened, things were said, we discussed it, and I thought it was over until I log today, and in my perusing see this thing about the FAQ, which I laughed off earlier, then I saw that it was open for discussion and it's like 'WTF, does everything have to have a thread for it??' Leon, this is your forum, and if you and the mods feel that banning is the right thing to do, then do it. Whatever is best for the health of the forum and the relationships herein is what needs to be done.

    I will say this, though - I honestly thought that this forum had way too many mods. However, I was judging that based solely on what I see and experience - which I am now seeing clearly isn't near what really happens on here. To me, we've been a well-behaved bunch for the most part. Judging by your post, apparantly a lot more is going on that most of us are completely clueless about. I'm sorry if I have added to your frustrations, as well as to the mods'. I am now seeing that I have no clue as to the shit you guys deal with, and that it must be intense because there's a team of you guys handeling it, and you're doing an awesome job of it because to me, there's nothing going on - which is the whole point to your jobs, making the experience for the user a pleasant one, which it has been.

    So I am sorry that I was a part of it, and I'm sure everyone involved is sorry that this whole thing went down. I don't know what's going on between here and the other place, but I choose this board to call home, and I'm going to try to behave. All of you can spank me if I get out of line :)
  8. Techie2000

    Techie2000 The crowd would sing:

    I vote nay. I've wavered back and fourth on this issue. Seeing both sides, the arguements coming from many different directions. The drama, the problem. I think that we are all grown-ups here (myself notwithstanding) and we are capable of recognizing who drama queens might be. We also understand that people have feelings, and sometimes people become emotionally charged and do not deal with those feelings in the most politic manner. If someone tries to do something such as threaten to leave to get your attention, the best revenge you can have is indifference. People are not perfect. They do things they regret, they make mistakes. I truely believe though, that in the end, we have one hell of a group of people here, and I'd hate to see it divided and shrunk by such minute issues. I also understand we get some undesirables here. Sometimes there are people who really are hateful and more interested in spreading agendas than engaging in productive debate. We have gotten rid of them in the past, and as they come we will continue to deal with them if and when they arrive again. I believe that those we have here now are interested in engaging in productive debate. Some are not as prepared for it as others. I know I'm not always as prepared as I could be. In time however, people will learn and get better at it. In the process people can also learn how to best deal with other people when discussing different topics, and things that might be sensitive or just in general. I believe learning from this situation is what is most important.
  9. Coot

    Coot Passed Away January 7, 2010

    Not to bag on anyone in particular, but the purpose of this thread is/was to discuss a method of dealing with a form of behavior that a kindergarten teacher wouldn't put up with. The idea that, "Taking your toys and going home is not an option", gets across fairly easily when we're dealing with our children. Why the hell should we be tolerating this from adults? This isn't about Misu, it's about the forum at large, it's about a prevailing attitude that seems to believe that sanctioning this behavior is okay.

    I defy anyone here to honestly claim they haven't attempted this kind of blackmail at some point in their life. At the same time, I would challenge everyone here to demonstrate where this is effective. At some point most, if not all, of us figured out that it didn't have an attractive payback. So, why do it here?

    The rule proposed is fair, it's called for and what should have been lamented in this thread is the lack of personal responsibility required to attempt to take the dialogue to that level. It's not a cumbersome rule. The idea is to raise the level of discourse, not lower it by enabling what could prove to be histrionic diatribes. In serious discussions, maybe the prime directive should be that you don't post it if you don't believe it.

    How about the community take some responsibility, rather than play the "I'm a victim of my emotions" card? You don't like the consequences involved in making a vacuous threat? How about you don't make the threat? Seems pretty fuckin' simple to me.
  10. Copzilla

    Copzilla dangerous animal Staff Member

    I think it's beyond that, Coot. It's not about Misu, or "wetback", or barring people who say they're leaving, or voting on rules.

    It's about people getting real. Too much bullshit everywhere you turn, from the mod/admin perspective.

    Leon wanted to put the dollar system back in place. He got shit from people.
    Leon wanted to put a mens and womens only forum in place. He got shit from people.
    Leon wanted a rule in place where people who threaten to leave are required to, and he gets shit for it. Hell, he even got a campaign where people were invited to come back and vote, people who hadn't been here in MONTHS!

    PEOPLE - This is Leon's HOUSE. We are GUESTS here. Some of you fuckers act like you want to determine what the hell he's going to serve for freakin' SUPPER! If he slams the door shut on his house, I don't blame him! So I'll tell you all what needs to be on the menu... Some freakin' gratitude and a nice cup of STFU!
  11. joseftu

    joseftu ORIGINAL Pomp-Dumpster

    I see it, Leon (although I'm not sure I did at first)--and I'm really, honestly, sincerely taken aback.

    Maybe your "April Fool's" was (like most humor) meant a lot more seriously than it seemed.

    I didn't know you felt this way at all. I've always felt (even when frustrated and fed up) like this place was important and worthwhile. It's never been a playground--the fact that it's <b>not</b> a playground (most of the time) has been what brought me and kept me here.

    I've seen (and tried to point out) what I saw as a serious problem here (not the same one you're talking about), but I never meant that to be the cause of the destruction of the forum.

    It's your place--you can end it anytime--but I'm still hoping that talking to all of us about it is going to be better than just shutting it down.
  12. rowd

    rowd Spark Maker


    I've been watching this progression for a few days now and I'm sorry this forum has become a burden for you.
    I sincerely hope you don't shut down, as I really love to come here.
    I echo what Copzilla said and will continue to check in to see if your still online. Hope this all works out.

    .....Oh and one more thing.............everybody who is bitchin needs to.........
  13. Domh

    Domh Full Member

    Correct. A+. Summa Cum Laude. PhD in 'correct'. Bingo. Right on.

    In the immortal words of Fonzie... "correct-a-mundo."

    Lets repeat to drive this one home!

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Say it with me now folks!

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing.

    Thats the lot of it good friends, enemies, assholes and snobs and cynical bitches and acerebes and bigots and haters and lovers and geniuses and spiritually evolved freaks who share too much.


    This IS a public place. You wouldnt walk into a restaurant and flip out on some asshole half way down the bar talking about how much he hates the Chinese... and then loudly announce to the whole damn restaurant that you are LEAVING and youll NEVER come back... right? If you saw somebody do that you would think they were, well, insane.

    Dont do it here either. No difference.

    There is NO need for our favorite home in cyberspace to close down, and NOBODY wants that to happen.

    Lets all take a step back, and remember... and keep in mind...

    Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing... ever - not for you or us or children, small cats and pretty flowers.

    Im so very happy Ive posted twice on this whole sorry saga. Lets move on friends, and keep the new addition to the golden rule in mind...

    Attack the idea, never the person. Emotionally reacting to something one finds offensive isn't a good thing, and while understandable, wont be put up with here. It is an innapropriate action for this public forum.


    OH! InsAgt? Joseftu? You silly peons are mere grasshoppers in my Zen School of Assholery. You are still cleaning the steps on the way up the mountain to my mighty Shaolin Temple of Assholery. You havent even earned the right to shave your head, wear a tattered robe and beg in the streets for bread to feed you as you wander aimlessley, your only hope in life that someday, when very old, you might... MIGHT... be admitted to my inner sanctum to learn at the feet of Domhain, Sensei Asshole.

  14. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member


    You're post has validated the fact that I am clueless as to what is going on. Or at least the seriousness of what is going on. To this "outsider", all of this just looks plain silly since I haven't noticed any real problems in the forums. In fact, I still say these are the best forums around.

    I'm sorry you're contemplating shutting this place down, but that is your choice. I just hope that's not what happens, as this is truly a unique place and community on the web. Even with all of our dysfunction! :)

    Maybe from now on, you should just simply initiate changes as you see fit instead of putting them to a vote or posting them for discussion? From Copz post, it seems that part of the problem is people slamming you for directions you want to take this forum. If that's true, then stop asking and just do it. Maybe the old saying, "If you don't want to hear the answer, then don't ask the question," needs to be applied. If members don't like the changes, tough. We can stay or leave. If members badger you about it, ignore it. You can't control the actions of others but you can control your reaction to them.

    Even though we've never met, I've long considered you a friend Leon. I'm sorry that this place, or the actions of some, have you so upset. How you react to those situations is completely up to you.
  15. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    Then Leon needs to quit asking for opinions and just serve what he's defrosted for dinner. End of story.
    I voted yes. I voted yes because it's something that the mods and Leon think needs to be done. That's enough for me. There have been a couple of times when it was announced "I am Leaving!" and then the person is still right there.... it's an attention getter and takes away from the forum, IMO. But, I'm not running anything...I just sit back and enjoy, learn and participate. So, quit asking for opinions and just do what you want. Either people will deal with it or won't...
    I didn't agree with the different forums(male/female) and was asked for an opinion...I gave it. Stop asking and just make the forum you want.
    By the way...I haven't had any difficulties with the mods, Leon or anyone else. The tools to deal with certain types of people have be given to us very graciously by Leon. And I use them.
    The mods, IMO are fair. I am also of the opinion that in trying to be "fair" Leon's bent over backwards...obviously to his own personal detriment. Stop doing it. If you don't want someone to participate anymore, close 'em out. It's your call. It's all your call and life ain't always fair. :) And everyone's not going to "like" you. Get over it.
    The rest of us love ya. :)

    On that note...I'll just go to my room now. :lol:
  16. Copzilla

    Copzilla dangerous animal Staff Member

    Believe me... The whiners will give him shit about that, too. He's placed issues for votes trying to prevent people from having an angle to whine to him.
  17. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    Then he/we have to learn to ignore it. Like I said before, you can't change or control what other people do. You can only control how you react to what they do.
  18. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    I don't care who you are or what you do it's a FACT, you can't please all the people all the time. Make executive decisions and move on. Fuck 'em if they don't like it. Disable the pm option for such things...appears you can do that since Misu was able to refuse PM's. I didn't know that option existed...obviously it does.
    If someone has a problem, let them pm the mods to give Leon a break. Because a member PM's you with a complaint about a change in the forum doesn't mean you have to reply and have a discussion ensue.... the notification thing will let the writer know his/her pm was received. End of story.
    I don't get it, I guess. This is a great place, plenty of praise has time and again been given to those that run it...all of them. So...what's the beef? Y'all know what comes with behind the scenes stuff. And if people are being nasty shits and whinners in PM's, shut 'em off, ban 'em whatever. If people don't like that, oh friggin' well.

    I dunno. This is the only forum I go to so it would be shitty for me if the place shut down. Although I might actually get some work done.
    Nah. :)

    If someone wants to leave or thinks they have a better more open more fair way of doing this, then let them go and do it. Seems pretty simple to me.
  19. Copzilla

    Copzilla dangerous animal Staff Member

    Well, what you're seeing now is admin/mod response to that crap. I'm not disagreeing with your solutions, if the place stays open you can believe there will be some changes. The chronic meddlers will not appreciate it, I'm sure.

    Oh, and for the record, as far as I'm concerned, regardless of the "Flood the Vote" campaign that went on and whatever results someone may have been trying to achieve, this poll is non-binding. This ain't Florida, and there ain't no hanging pregnant chads, and Leon doesn't have to take it to the SCotUS. So if you (meaning those who flooded the votes with people who do NOT visit but once every six months and do NOT contribute to the forum) managed to get the numbers in your favor, I DON'T CARE A BIT. You wasted everyone's time in trying that little stunt, and just illustrates what we're talking about.

    And with that, I really think this thread needs to be locked, because it contains that useless poll in it.

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