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If You Like the Sex, You Like the Relationship

Discussion in 'Issues Around the World' started by ethics, Nov 13, 2002.

  1. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Researchers from the Illinois State University in Normal have shown that the oft-cited adage Why keep the cow if you can get the milk for free? is little more than an old wives' tale.

    Writing in <a href="http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20021104/hl_nm/sex_relationship_dc_1">The Journal of Sex Research</a>, they explained their discovery that couples which enjoyed great sex were likely to experience a blossoming in their relationship; in contrast, couples which suffered unimpressive sex were liable to experience dissatisfaction in other aspects of their relationship, and as such were more likely to break up.

    This counterintuitive link between orgasms and emotions is actually quite easy to explain. Contrary to popular belief, it isn't easy for people to find compatible sex partners, much less enjoyable sex partners. In view of this, it isn't surprising that good sex can become the foundation of a solid relationship. After all, once you've found a cow offering deliciously creamy milk, you'll want to keep it!
  2. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    I would agree with that completely. In college, I "dated" many, many woman. Some were definitely more compatible sex partners then others. The relationships in which the sex was not that good tended to end quicker then the relationships where the sex was acceptable or great.

    It's been said that sex is not the most important part of marriage, and I would agree with that, it's not the most important part. But it certainly is one of the important parts.
  3. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    I'm not so sure I agree, Coot. Bad sex impacts almost every other area in a marriage. I can attest to this personally--while I held (and continue to hold) my ex-wife in tremendous esteem, the sex...er...sucked.

    I've never met a woman as intelligent, incisive, and capable as my ex-wife, before or after. I never cheated on her, but the crappy sex was what killed it for us.

    More about me than anyone wanted to know, of course.

  4. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Sex does matter. As does size. Don't fool yourselves, boys ;) I kid...

    Seriously, sex is important. In an era where you can get married in a drive-thru chapel and order a divorce over the internet, it's amazing we don't have more people that get divorced. Sure love is the most important thing, but ask anyone who's divorced without adultery being part of the problem, they most likely will say it was the sex.

    Oddly enough, however, sex with an ex is considered REALLY good... I wonder why. Could it be because it's taboo? Or wrong? So it's the excitement part of it?
  5. Domh

    Domh Full Member

    Sex can be STELLAR, mind-numbing, earth-shattering full on porn star insanity best in your life oh my god dont make it stop...

    and the person its happening with can be the WORST possible partner you could ever choose.

    conversely, one can learn to have incredible sex with a great partner.

    i think that its all about real love. if the love is there between both partners, the sex will be at least good, and will get better and better with time.

    ive had some seriously mind bending awesome sex with some women i could barely talk to socially.
  6. btdude

    btdude Veteran Member

    I won't try to gross ya'll out here, so pretend I am Wapu's cheerleader. ROFL.

    All due respect to MISU, here. LOL Is size really an issue? When I was in my crazy slut days, I dated a guy who was a dancer. Leave that part alone. LOL Anyway, the man was HUGE. We are talking a Corona bottle and then some. No less than 11 inches was this big boy. Now, I found that anything over the first 6 inches was a complete waste. And this takes into account that I have no gag reflex to speak of. Sure it was fun for awhile. The novelty wore off, he knew it. I knew it. Sex was only sex. It did not at all help the relationship, it did not hurt it. Well, physically it was a challenge, but not not too bad. I know, TMI. I'm sorry. LOL
  7. Coriolis

    Coriolis Bob's your uncle

    [OT]I'm curious how this chap managed an erection and remained conscience... good circulation, I guess. ;)[/OT]

    Back on topic though, my wife and I have discussed this many times. As a young couple (she's 32, me 37) with two youngs kids (5 and 3) we went a long time with a very disrupted and irregular sex life -- it's happens when you have kids, especially when one or both is sleeping in between us! It also takes a while to get back in the groove, so to speak. During that time I know our marriage suffered from that lack of intimacy, but it was also strengthened by a different kind of intimacy, one centered around our kids. If for nothing esle, having to work harder to have that special time (any time, for that matter) has most likely strengthened, not weakened, our relationship.
  8. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    Wow...you just described exactly what my wife and I are finding out right now Coriolis! With a little 10 week (almost 11 week) baby around the house, we always have to work hard to find time for each other. But when we do....WOW...it's great!! :)
  9. btdude

    btdude Veteran Member

    * Can see objects within a close distance (within 15 18 inches)
    * Will start to move arms and legs on both sides of body
    * May tilt head briefly.
    * Has a short attention span
    * Will spend much of his time eating and sleeping


    * Lifts head momentarily while on stomach
    * Begins to focus on face at close distance
    * Responds to sound

    May Begin To:

    Follow objects within close distance
    Make sounds other than crying
    Smile, laugh
    Tilt head at 45 degrees while on stomach

    May Work Towards

    * Holding head steady when upright for a few seconds
    * Laughing
    Bringing hands together


    * Smiles in response to your voice
    * Follows objects at close distance
    * Responds to sound

    May Begin To:

    * Lift head 45 degrees on stomach
    * Hold head steady for short periods
    * Raise chest and head while on stomach

    May Work Towards:

    * Smiling spontaneously
    * Bringing hands together
    * Laughing out loud


    * Lifts head 45 degrees on stomach
    * Laughs with intent
    * Follows object side- to- side within close distance

    May Begin To:

    * Lift head 90 degrees on stomach
    * Squeal when excited or entertained
    * Smile spontaneously
    * Make sounds with mouth
    * Begin to attempt to roll
    * Grasp object or fingers

    May Work Towards:

    * Turning towards sound
    * Bearing weight on legs when held upright
    * Reaching for object
    * Keeping head upright when being lifted
  10. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    Great list there BT....thanks! Actually, it just confirms what we already knew. She is gifted! :)

    She is already doing all the things that are listed there for a three month old (including the "may work towards" ones) and she's not quite that old yet.

    (She must take after her mother). :)
  11. btdude

    btdude Veteran Member

    LOL Gregg, You remind me of that TV commercial where the dad orders a bike online, and it is DA BOMB!
  12. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    LOL, BT...that is sooo me!

    Actually, I'm just like another commercial as well. I keep telling my wife that our daughter needs a 42" Plasma TV for Christmas. :)
  13. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    holy cow, btdude - you sure you weren't dating a horse!??! :eek:

    And when I said size matters, I wasn't really thinking about a guy with an 11 inch penis... WOW. That's like, insane and extremely out of the ordinary. I meant more along the lines of a howard stern-type of guy, with a 2 incher (fully erect). Although these guys are usually the best at...

    ok, let's just NOT go there :angel:

    Seriously, though, I do realize that sex means different things for different people. Some people can have the best sex ever with someone they don't know - others require the love and trust in a LTR in order to let their gaurd down - lots of woman are like this, actually. I had 1 friend who never had an orgasm during intercourse with a man... She couldn't, because she never felt she could trust the men she was with. She needed that trust in order to let herself go - she had no problem on her own, but with a partner, nope.

    And because of the topic...

    :happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:
  14. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Yes, it's the only way she'll be able to play on her XBOX and PLAYSTATION 2, both with the ONLINE SERVICE to play all the GAMES that you can play online...

    and don't forget the SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM... can't have cheap sounds for your baby - nothing but the best for your princess!
  15. Jedi Writer

    Jedi Writer Guest

    Interesting conclusions from the research. It has always been my impression for deep relationships that absent some emotional hang up by one partner or another the better the relationship the better the sex. The poorer the relationship the poorer the sex, at least in frequency and often in quality.

    But who knows? My two year marriage relationship was never very good with my ex-wife. But our friends relationship was good and our sex was always a 10. And I mean always. Right up to and including the last night before we split.

    Frankly I've always been somewhat puzzled by that. It drove her crazy that our marriage was so poor but the sex was so great.

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