1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

For those who are struggling

Discussion in 'Society and Culture' started by MemphisMark, Jan 18, 2018.

  1. MemphisMark

    MemphisMark Old School Conservative

    Due to the recent discussion of a departed friend, I want to offer this post from my blog. This goes for non-vets as well.

    The US Military is fantastic for programming our soldiers be effective in killing the enemies of the United States.

    The deprogramming and reintegration back into society part they haven't figured out yet.

    As a consequence, twenty-two veterans a day complete suicide. I suspect what they go through is very similar to this short. I know what it's like to be mentally tortured by yourself. In my case, the particulars weren't the same, but the end result almost was. Watch this to the end.

    If you know a veteran who is struggling, help them reach out to get the help they need. Because of the Machismo of the military, it is very difficult for them to ask for help. Phrase it to them like this:

    "Okay, you're in a firefight. You are pinned down, outnumbered and outgunned. What do you do?"

    "Call for the QRF [Quick Reaction Force] and air support. I call for reinforcements."

    "Great. Right now, that fight you are having within yourself, you are pinned down, outnumbered and outgunned. Let me call in some reinforcements for you to help you win this battle."

    Allene and Andy like this.
  2. ShinyTop

    ShinyTop I know what is right or wrong!

    When the vet leaves the service after spending time in combat the most important thing is not losing contact with others who have been there and done that. They know the baggage carried and can speak with each other. Returning soldiers in the era of Vietnam were part of the badly divided whole one day and the next returned to a life that seems as foreign as their arrival in Vietnam. He is proud of what he did at a time when the whole country wants to forget and to damn those they sent to war.

    The vet does not want to remember himself so how is he to talk about it to his family who sees planning trips to malls and vacations as stressful? Most sent back letters about how safe they were, how little danger they were exposed to. How does he bring up what he saw, who he lost, what he did?

    So he goes about getting a life back in the world. He marries (or returns to his wife), gets a job and successfully moves up the ladder. And he still remembers and still would not know where or who to share. We were soldiers, the baddest MF's around, we don't don't need no damn help.

    And we still remember. You can't push a vet to share what cannot be shared. One can only be there. With luck another vet sees what is going and can help. You can't help a vet by declaring he suffers from PTSD and then allow courts and lawyers to take away his rights to run his own life based on the diagnosis. Most who could be so diagnosed are aware of what can be lost beyond pride by such a diagnosis.

    The vets who completely lose it can be identified and treated. The vets who hold it seemingly together are the walking wounded and we do not have a system to help them, there is none and cannot be.
    Allene likes this.
  3. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    It's so sad! I've met some of these "holding it seemingly together" vets over the years. I can't imagine spending a lifetime bottling up all that!
  4. ShinyTop

    ShinyTop I know what is right or wrong!

    There is nothing else to do. Although a loving family helps but they cannot understand. Revealing to them would get love in return but unstated pity and identification forever as "that" uncle, cousin, whatever. So the performance as unmarked by your experience is as much of your life as any other experience. The close held knowledge of your experience and how you met the challenges allows you meet the challenges of "real" life.

    The experience also teaches you to distrust and hold in contempt the civilian leaders who commit young men to never ending wars with vague promises of limited engagement as the engagement passes decade long death and destruction. How do we keep electing such people? They have learned to not make the people, excepting the volunteers and their families, pay for the war. Endless debt beats the increased taxes you need for war. Endless debt of lives of volunteers are held lightly as they do not use conscripts. The campuses are quiet about war now that they do not face the draft.

    If we had used resources on the poor, our infrastructure, medical care for all, alternate energy what a better nation we would be.
    Allene likes this.
  5. Susan Addams

    Susan Addams Unregistered User

    This is why it pisses me off when ex-military get no respect. My father has a friend who came back from Vietnam and has been suffering PTSD ever since, he has never held a job, I've talked to him and he's nice but it's like having a convo with a vegetable. People often talk about themselves, that's how we hook up with making friends. Dad's friend has only pain inside.

    This is one of the reasons why I'm tempted to resume school and parley my BA into Psy.D. so I can help people like this. It was the example of dad's friend that prompted me to add Psych to my Lit major. (Two useless degrees are just as good as one, think about it. ;))

    I can't decide which is more horrible, those with psychological wounds and those with physical infirmities. You can see the physical infirmities (like missing limbs) but you cannot see the suffering inside of people unless you interact with them.
  6. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    I would take physical infirmity over psychological wounds any day. People tend to eventually adjust to physical limitations. Some of those physical limitations aren't immediately visible. Some vets lost their hearing from blasts, and Agent Orange slowly wrecked the physical health of many of them. It makes me angry to think of how the government tried to cover that up.
  7. dsl987

    dsl987 Member

    Never understood how anybody who fought in a war has ANY hearing left. High velocity rifle rounds have a painful sound to them, and it only takes a single shot to remind me to put my ear plugs in
    Allene likes this.
  8. Susan Addams

    Susan Addams Unregistered User

    Some ass taught me to shoot a .38 and the idiot didn't tell me you should wear hearing protectors. My ears ring now (years since, I was 17 then) and an audiologist told me I have permanent hearing damage. Tell ya what though, I can put two .380s in center of mass and one in the head at 20 feet! :)

    Somebody break into my condo, they better not do it when Suzy is at home! :p
  9. Arc

    Arc Full Member

    There have been many movies made that feature, for the most part, some well-done shootouts or battle scenes. (Heat, Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan to name a few.) There have been others too, of course. But the one thing none of them come close to replicating is the high volume deafening sound of gunfire, other weapons, and explosions.
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2018
    Allene likes this.
  10. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    So true!
  11. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    I met a Vietnam vet back in the 1990s who lost all his hearing from a blast. Hearing aids didn't work, so he had to wait until the late 1980s to get a cochlear implant, which worked very well for him.

  12. Allene

    Allene Registered User

    You are lucky you didn't lose all your hearing. Tinnitus is very irritating.

  13. Susan Addams

    Susan Addams Unregistered User

    The tinnitus is like a lot of things in life. You just learn to deal with it. My brain just wires around it and learns to ignore it. I sometimes need to turn on the CC for like action movies with a lot of sound effects that cover up the dialog. Chick flicks are usually more sedate and I still watch Dirty Dancing or Flashdance every few months. I already have the dialog memorized! It's the music and dancing and kissing anyway. ;) Don't need CC for that! :D

    In fact if I can find where I stashed them I'll play them while I work next week. My subwoofer for my den (where I telecommute) will be here probably Wednesday and I can work and watch Dirty Dancing as I work! :)
    Allene likes this.
  14. dsl987

    dsl987 Member

    I do have pretty bad tinnitus in the left ear, it NEVER stops ringing. Some days are worse than others, and it can be especially annoying at night when you're trying to fall asleep.
  15. Susan Addams

    Susan Addams Unregistered User

    Don't worry DSL, if your experience is same as mine your brain will re-wire around it and eventually your awareness of the ringing sound will fade. If I think about it (as now) I can hear it particularly bad in my right ear. Your brain learns to just stop thinking about it. I've had about 20 years since the injury and I mostly just get along with my life and learned to just ignore it. I bet I haven't even heard it for a week, and can only hear it now because the subject is up.

    I do have one adjustment. I always want to sit at far right when dining because my right ear is whacked out and I hear the convo better through my left ear, so I always want my friends to my left. Most of my friends have figured this out and know why.

    I have a BA degree in Psychology and although that qualifies me for exactly nothing I know from which I speak. Give it time and your brain will wire around it and learn to ignore it.

    Just for curiosity, when was your original insult in terms of how many years ago?

Share This Page