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Birth control and unwanted pregnancies...

Discussion in 'Issues Around the World' started by Violet1966, Dec 12, 2002.

  1. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Well today I had my 6 week check up after the birth of my fourth child. I have decided that since I want no more children, and hormones create risks as you get older, I am going to have my tubes cauterized.

    My doctor did the whole check up to see if everything is fine and explained the procedure to me. She went over the failure rate of the birth control I have chosen, and believe it or not...it's roughly almost 1%!!. I asked her if she has ever known anyone who had a pregnancy result after this operation and sure enough she has 2 patients that have had it happen.

    The one case was really freaky. The woman had decided she had enough children, so she got her tubes done. She got pregnant. She had the child. Well since her tubes were already done and it happened anyway, her husband went and had a vasectomy. Guess what? She got pregnant again!!! I am now horrified and really wondering if I could be a statistic with this procedure. I'm getting it done anyway but the whole point of this is to be able to enjoy sex with my husband, without the worry of a "surprise' pregnancy.

    I am now left feeling very, very confused. I don't want to risk my health anymore with hormonal birth control. The risks go up with age. Condoms can break. To sum it all up, there's risks even with the most reliable forms of birth control.

    Just food for thought as I know that sometimes there's discussions about women who go and have more and more kids and some of them even turn to abortion with an unwanted pregnancy.

    Now take this in any direction you need to. It's all relevant. The point I'm trying to make is, humans have sex. It's nature. There is no form of birth control that is 100% except for abstinence. So what to do? ;)

  2. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Perhaps if you used a spermicidal lubricant, you could cut down on your already extremely slim chances of pregnancy after getting your tubes done?

    Have you asked your doctor what methods of birth control would work, without going to hormone or condoms?
  3. Scott

    Scott Some Assembly Required

    damn---did you read all the side effects of that procedure? you might just want to get the hubby fixed ;)
  4. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Since this is in the public forum, I guess I have to be a little careful how I word my post.

    I am not sure about condoms, and other birth control methods but what has worked for me and my previous partners (and wife) is the pull out method.

    Now I know everyone under the sun shuns it, warns against it, etc... It has worked for me because... Well, I do know why and you can guess why (it's not because I or my partners are/were infertile).

    But I digress.

    All I am saying is that perhaps this procedure coupled with other methods will get you closer to the 100% mark? It doesn't have to be my method of choice either, just A method.
  5. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Scott, fixing the hubby won't cut down on her chances of female-related diseases, like ovarian cancer or breast cancer. As a woman ages, her chances of such diseases increases because of hormone flucuations.

    Hey V, another idea would be perhaps you should begin monitoring your hormone levels now, and maybe go on some hormone therapy?
  6. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Hubby doesn't want to get a vasectomy. He's afraid plain and simple. LOL If I wanted to make it an issue i could I guess. Spermicides also have side affects. Like if you use a condom with them it's not a problem but ask a guy what it feels like to have his wick stuck in a batch of that stuff. Some of them will put them in burning agony. My alternatives were the iud. I am very sensitive to hormones. I get breathing problems and chest pains. With the less hormonal pills, there's more of a risk of uterine cancer. You can't win.

    Also the iud has it's risks and I don't feel comfortable with how some people believe it works. It's believed that it might actually force the lining of the uterus to expell a fertilized egg every month and that's how it works. There's also lots of other risks involved.

    Ethics you are right. Pull out is good too but that kinda defeats the whole point of why I don't want to worry anymore and the hubby, well he don't want to have to do that anymore if you know what I mean ;)

    It just burns my buns that nothing is 100% except for abstinence and sex is sooooo important in a marriage you know. I want to be able to enjoy things now...and it seems that I'm never gonna be able to stop worrying till my change, which will be a looooong time from now. LOL

    It also made me think about those women who don't want children and go and have this procedure done, only to have it fail and then seek an abortion. In this day and age, you'd think they'd have something out there, that can really prevent pregnancy while still letting you enjoy sex!!! LOL
  7. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    I understand. I compromise though, and that is beyond the scope of this thread. :)
  8. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member


    I certainly understand your husbands fear about getting a vasectomy. In fact, I have always had the same fear as well and had always figured that my wife would get sterilized instead.

    However, about a year ago, TLC ran back-to-back sterilization surgeries. First, the female surgery, followed by the male surgery.

    I can honestly say that there is no way in hell that I will let my wife go through that surgery now!! When the time comes, I will be first in line to have the vasectomy. After seeing both procedures done, the vasectomy is a piece of cake in comparison with much less side effects or complications.

    I would suggest that both you and your husband sit down and watch both procedures together (ask your doctor for videos or check the net) before making any decisions.
  9. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Thanks for the advice. I am not having the procedure done till the 27th so I have time to change my mind still. I am going to have the hubby look at the risks with me. I don't usually bother him with this kind of stuff, but if you, a male, is saying all this, I think I should talk to him and let him know what's going on.
  10. ShinyTop

    ShinyTop I know what is right or wrong!

    I had the procedure in 1973. It took 15 minutes. The worst part was the hair growing back in. You will not go commando until the hair grows back!
  11. tke711

    tke711 Oink Oink Staff Member

    I think that's a good idea. And believe you me, I don't take issues involving the family goods lightly. :)

    Seriously, the thing that really stuck out for me after watching the programs was that for women it is major surgery. For men, it's a fairly simply outpatient procedure.
  12. FrankF

    FrankF #55170-054

    My wife and I have four kids.... two of them not exactly "planned". After the last one we checked into either having her tubes tied or me getting a vasectomy.
    Vasectomies are a lot less risky (minor office procedure vs. hysterectomy which is a more major surgery). Vasectomies are $50 under my HMO insurance plan, and the success rate is better than 99.9% (less than 1 failure per 1000).

    And in case your husband isn't so sure... it doesn't decrease your sex drive... you are still as horney as ever... you still have orgasms... you still cum... there just aren't any of those sperm dudes to worry about.
  13. LissaKay

    LissaKay Oh ... Really???

    Violet ... darling. Just take his face gently in your hands, look him deeply in the eyes and say, "Honey, I have given birth to watermelons. I was unable to sit right for days. I've done my duty. Now ... it's YOUR turn to experience some discomfort in that region."

    Share the love ...

    (edited due to dyslexic fingers)
  14. jamming

    jamming Banned

    Does Three Kidney Stones Count???? Just wondering?
  15. RRedline

    RRedline Veteran MMember

    I am a man, but I also agree with your reasoning, Demi.

    Violet, if you can truly make him understand what bearing children has done to your body, surely you can make him understand that a vasectomy is trivial in comparison.
  16. Violet1966

    Violet1966 Stand and Deliver Staff Member

    Yeah I think we're going to be talking about this one a lot this weekend, the hubby and I. LOL thanks for the advice everyone :)
  17. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    AGreed with that, Greg (and others). Let the guy take the fall.

    We had one guy just recently snipped, he was back after a weekend and done with. He says it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be.
  18. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Where they watermelon sized? ;)
  19. Robert Harris

    Robert Harris Passed Away Aug. 19, 2006

    To be certain and safe -- get thee to a nunnery.
  20. ShinyTop

    ShinyTop I know what is right or wrong!

    That's the quote nobody claimed in my thread about favorite Shakespear quotes.

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