A little "lightness" on a "heavy" subject. Taoism Shit happens. Confucianism Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism This shit happened before. Mormonism This shit is going to happen again. Islam If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah. Stoicism This shit is its own reward. Protestantism Let this shit happen to someone else. Pentecostalism In Jesus' name, heal this shit! Catholicism Shit happens because you deserve it. Judaism Why does this shit always happen to us? Zoroastrianism Shit happens half the time. Marxism This shit is going to hit the fan. Atheism No shit. Seventh Day Adventist No shit on Saturdays. Existentialism Absurd shit. Agnosticism What is this shit? Nihilism Who gives a shit? Deconstruction Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives. Christian Science Shit is in your mind. Moonies Only happy shit really happens. Jehovah's Witnesses Let us in your house and we will explain why shit happens! Scientology Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard Hare Krishna Shit happens, Rama Rama. Hedonism There's nothing like a good shit happening. Rastafarianism Let's smoke this shit.