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A friend just passed away this morning

Discussion in 'Issues Around the World' started by Misu, Jan 18, 2003.

  1. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    He was my age - 27 years old. Died of cancer early this morning.

    Alf went to Miami last night, but got there too late, so figured he'd just go see him in the morning. Our friend died this morning... :(

    I stayed behind to do school work... Kinda seems like a stupid reason now.

    And Alf wanted to go see him a couple of weeks ago, but since I didn't want to go (i wasn't feeling all that well), he stayed also. Missed his chance to see our friend 1 last time.....

    I feel like such shit. I'm sitting here trying to rationalize away this guilt that I feel. I didn't give him cancer, and we knew he was dying, but I can't help but feel that *I* somehow fucked up in all this... Jesus. Guilt is a bitch :(
  2. IamZed

    IamZed ...

    And that is a sad thing girl. I am sorry your friend passed away. Hard things are all over your shoulders. They go away. We have that power. Be strong.
  3. Sierra Mike

    Sierra Mike The Dude Abides Staff Member

    Sorry, Misu. :(

  4. Leopoldo Niilus

    Leopoldo Niilus Registered User

    Really sorry, Misu.

  5. Advocat

    Advocat Viral Memes a Speciality Staff Member

    Guilt is a bitch, Misu. You and Alf didn't do anything that you haven't done a thousand times before, in that you have to organize your own time and lives... there's no way you could have had any clue he would have died so unexpectedly.

    I won't bother telling you not to feel guilty... we both know that'd be silly. Eventually you'll accept that it <b>wasn't</b> your doing or your fault that things have turned out the way the have. Sometimes things just happen.
  6. ShinyTop

    ShinyTop I know what is right or wrong!

    I am sorry for your loss, girl. You and Alf need to share the happy memories he gave you.
  7. Robert Harris

    Robert Harris Passed Away Aug. 19, 2006


    So sorry. It always is a shock to lose a friend, particularly one so young.

    But there is no reason for you to feel guilt. Regrets got having missed that opportunity, perhaps, but not guilt.
  8. cdw

    cdw Ahhhh...the good life.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. We too heard this morning of our best friend's mom's passing. Sudden and also from cancer. It's tough.
    But, take it easy on yourselves....be good to yourselves, it's tough enough.
  9. mikepd

    mikepd Veteran Member

    Shiny's right, Misu. You'll always have the good memories. No reason to be hard on yourself. Bad things happen to good people. There are no good reasons. As long as you treasure the memories, he'll live forever.
  10. immortal one

    immortal one 501st Geronimo

    I agree with Robert. Regrets perhaps, but not guilt.
  11. ethics

    ethics Pomp-Dumpster Staff Member

    Jeez 27 with Cancer? That's a super screw on life. Was he married?
  12. Misu

    Misu Hey, I saw that.

    Thanks everyone, I appreciate your comments :(

    I knew that he was in the hospital, but what I didn't know until this morning was that he was on a morphine drip - constantly receiving morphine to help with the pain. I don't know if he was asleep when he passed, but at least I know he wasn't in too much pain.

    I'm over the guilt thing - it was just the initial reaction I had. I tend to blame everything on myself. Mea Culpa syndrome, I call it. I talked with my mom about it, and it wasn't really a 'sudden' thing per say, he was in the hospital receiving hospice care, so we knew it was going to happen.

    One thing I noticed, though - everytime someone in my life dies, it's always such a pretty day outside....

    Ethics, he was very young, but I don't think he had kids. Its been about 3 years since I last saw him, and I heard through his mom that he got married a few months back. Don't know his wife, don't know if they were still together.

    He was a great guy. He had his quirks, but that's how he was. He was John. Big John we used to call him.


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