Dear Prudie: Marriage W/O Paper

[ethics]

Dear Prudie,

I have been with the same man for about eight years now, and I love him very much. The problem is he keeps telling me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and marry me. I should be happy, right? Wrong. After all this time, he is still married to his first wife. Their marriage has been over for a little more than a decade, but they've never bothered to get divorced. Moreover, when I mention it, he says he'll do it soon, and then nothing gets done. We have been living together for six years, and I'm fine with that. I don't even need to be married to the guy, but what bugs me is when he introduces me to someone, he calls me his wife. I've asked him to stop that because then people call me Mrs. X, and I don't like it one bit. I finally gave him an ultimatum, and now he says I don't love him. I don't know what to do. Please help.

—Not Mrs. X

[Sierra Mike]

Shoot him first, then yourself. Preferably in the bathroom, which is easier to clean.

SM

[Steve]

Dear "Not",

You do understand, I hope, that you have no legal standing in this "relationship", at all? If he dies, his legal wife gets everything and you get nothing unless you have retained separate ownership and can prove it's yours, in the first place.

If that doesn't open your eyes, honey, nothing else I say will, either. You know what needs to be done, the real question here is "Will you do it?"

[Violet1966]

I'm reminded of an old saying here. Why buy the cow, when the milk is free? Ask him to divorce his wife, or you will move on. If he truly loves you, he'll prove it in that way.

[ethics]

I thought it was, why buy milk if you have a cow at home?

[Kangaroo]

Dear 'Not',

The war is over, dearie. You can get parts for your brain now.