"Oh, you Lost Weight!?"

[ethics]

It's Thursday's Prudie time!!!

Dear GA Members:

I am 19 years old and a size 12—not obese, just naturally curvy. A few months ago, I started eating better and must have lost a few pounds. As a result, people keep telling me I've lost weight. I understand that they mean this as compliment, and so I usually say "thank you" and change the subject. However, I was wondering if there's some polite way to convey that, while I appreciate the "compliment," I'm perfectly happy with my curvy self. Also, when did "You've lost weight" become a compliment? Wasn't there a time when losing a noticeable amount of weight meant one was sick or malnourished? Just to clear up any confusion, I started eating better not to lose weight but simply to fix my bad habit of snacking on foods with no nutritional value while I still could. Thanks for any advice you might have.

—Curvy and Confused

[Biker]

**cough** 19? Size 12? NOT obese? :rolleyes:

[ethics]

Well, it's possible to be just big boned, no?

[cdw]

Just say thank you and move on. Are you going to complain when they say..."wow, you are looking great!", knowing full well that they mean you look better to them than before? Don't worry, be happy!
:)

[Misu]

**cough** 19? Size 12? NOT obese? :rolleyes:

Are you serious that a size 12 in your book is obese? That's larger than a size 4, but that's no where near obese, is it?! :cry:

[cdw]

No, Misu, it's not obese and you know it. So does he. Even at 19, it's not obese. Size 4? That was the size of my diaper, I think...I'll have to check that one with my mom. rofl

[Misu]

No, Misu, it's not obese and you know it. So does he. Even at 19, it's not obese. Size 4? That was the size of my diaper, I think...I'll have to check that one with my mom. rofl

Yeah, I don't think that's obese either - I think that's a pretty normal size. Size 8 to 12, that's normal. But what do I know - I'm a heavier gal, and have been struggling with the weight for a long time (and the sicker I get, the worse my weight gets) to the point I'm considering drastic measures, like surgery. But I don't think I'd survive the surgery.

ANYWAY, back to the topic (sorry didn't mean to deviate) - that girl seems to have self-esteem issues. I mean, she's bugged by the fact that people say to her that she's losing weight as if it's a compliment. Well, to many, it is a compliment because being fat is looked down upon. To most people, losing weight is a huge accomplishment. Which is fine, but for that fact to bug her that much, is a definate reflection on how she feels about herself. Notice that she kept saying she was eating healthy now for nutritional reasons. Yeah, right.

[ethics]

I got the same feeling.

I think that the "compliments" on her weight loss is a validation that she had a problem and that people NOTICED and never said anything (for obvious reasons).

So now, she is upset that all of the time prior to her recent weight loss, she was looked down upon.

[cdw]

I think she's just being 19. :)

Just a thought.

[ethics]

I think she's just being 19. :)

Just a thought.

What does that mean? She is overly sensitive?

[cdw]

No, she's 19 and making a big deal out of nothing. She's immature. She's not full of herself like the women here on the board. :)

I think too much is being read into it thinking that she 'was looked down upon' before just because someone is innocently noticing she lost weight. Most people have to work at losing weight....so, perhaps people are just trying to give credit where it's due, not that she looked crappy before.
I don't know, what the hell do I know? rofl

[Steve]

"Dear Curvy,

Don't take the comments personally, honey, it's just the way people were brought up. You see, there are billion-dollar industries devoted exclusively to weight-loss, exercise, cosmetics, slimming and toning products, tanning products, and so on. Millions of people in this country pay cold, hard cash and work hard to improve their appearance.

Naturally, they expect all that effort and spent money to be noticed, so there's a lot of pressure on all of us to notice and compliment others when we see an "improvement" in their appearance. Failure to say anything can cause hurt feelings, especially when spouses are involved!

You just do what think is right for you and be happy with who you are."

[MNeedham73]

What does that mean? She is overly sensitive?

Teenagers by and large do tend to be more sensitive in regards to their appearance, in my opinion. Especially girls.

I don't think size 12 qualifies as "obese" by any stretch of my imagination.

(disclaimer: This comment is coming from a guy who is 6'3" 155pounds and can't gain weight, no matter what I try heh)

[ethics]

Teenagers by and large do tend to be more sensitive in regards to their appearance, in my opinion. Especially girls.


Yes, agreed.

Steve, another terrific reply in your post. :)

[Steve]

Thanks! What do you think about a "Dear Steven" column? :)

[ethics]

Thanks! What do you think about a "Dear Steven" column? :)


Well, you seem to be on a 2 week roll and seem to be beating Prudie, so you have my permission. :P

[Biker]

Did you know that today's size 12 is really a size 14? Interesting how retailers have caught on to catering to a woman's vanity.

Article here. (http://leisure.scotsman.com/home/headlines_specific.cfm?articleid=8705)

[cdw]

There is no conformity in sizes between manufacturers. None.

[MorWired]

Did you know that today's size 12 is really a size 14? Interesting how retailers have caught on to catering to a woman's vanity.Oh, it's worse than that. I'm the same size (body) that I was in high school, back then I was a size 10, these days, that same body is a size 6 -- while my vanity says it's "nice" to see the smaller number on the tag, my sense says it's also incredibly patronizing and infuriating that clothing manufacturers can pull such blatant crap and get away with it, hell, be rewarded for it. If a woman tries on something in a size 14 and a size 10, and both things fit, odds are something like 7, 8, or 9 out of 10 will buy the smaller size to "feel better" about it. What a bunch of hooey, and we wonder why we're getting fatter as a country. Well, if you still fit in your size 12 (but it's really a size 16), then everything is just fine, right? Why diet when your clothes fit fine?

I wonder what happens to the size 2 and 0 people as sizes shrink while clothing expands -- do the sizes go off into the negatives?