Perfect Boyfriend I Don't Love

[ethics]

<b>Dear Prudence,</b>

I have been dating "Craig" for 10 months. (We also dated four years ago before I left for college.) We have such a great time together, and he is the perfect boyfriend in most respects. My problem is that he seems to be under the impression that he loves me, and I know that I do not love him.

This has led to many lengthy discussions, and I know that I'm hurting him by not being able to tell him that I love him. I also know that it will not grow into love.

He is too needy for me, and I am too independent for him. I will be moving out of state to begin my career, and he has not so subtly hinted that he would like to go with me. I know this will not work, and I have tried to discourage him, but I can't seem to come right out and tell him that there is no way he is moving with me. Is there any polite or easy way to do this? I should add here that I do not do well with confrontations, and I am constantly worrying about hurting others' feelings. How can I be firm but gentle at the same time? I am desperately in need of your excellent guidance.

Thank you,
—Incessantly Anxious

[cdw]

rofl how does she describe herself? Independent? Say, what?

[Allene]

Did you make that up, Ethics? ;)

[ethics]

Nope. They are just so out there they feel made up...

[Violet1966]

Sad. She's "needy" enough to call him her "boyfriend" and stay with him and do the take role for an extended length of time, two times...but she's got it all together??? LOL Yeah. She sounds like the epitome of selfish me-ness. I'm sure this poor guy can do better. I'd say just tell him what you told him when you left him for 4 years before. It must have worked then...do it again you selfish witch. LOL I can't even relate.

[Steve]

"Dear Manipulative Bitch,

Get a freaking hold of yourself! What sort of cruel kicks are you getting out of stringing this poor, nice fellow along? He could be in a loving, committed relationship with a wonderful woman; instead, he's stuck with you!

You're not afraid of hurting his feelings, you're afraid you won't be idolized, adored, and worshiped by another man. Well, you should be, acting the way you have been! Run out right now and buy some relationship books, sweetheart, so you'll have some clue what love is really like (hint:"Craig" is in love with you).

Meanwhile, cut "Craig" loose by apologizing for leading him on for so long and telling him you've been cruelly coy for far too long and that he deserves far, far better than yourself.

It's only the truth!"

[Robert Harris]

It's easy,girl. Leave town in the middle of the night and tell nobody where you're going.

[Sierra Mike]

LOL!!!! Exactly so! I was going to write something similar, but you did it much better than I could have!

:thumbsup:

SM

[cdw]

cyd >>> humming.. 50 ways to leave your lover.

:lol:

[Coriolis]

"Dear Manipulative Bitch,

Get a freaking hold of yourself! What sort of cruel kicks are you getting out of stringing this poor, nice fellow along? He could be in a loving, committed relationship with a wonderful woman; instead, he's stuck with you!

You're not afraid of hurting his feelings, you're afraid you won't be idolized, adored, and worshiped by another man. Well, you should be, acting the way you have been! Run out right now and buy some relationship books, sweetheart, so you'll have some clue what love is really like (hint:"Craig" is in love with you).

Meanwhile, cut "Craig" loose by apologizing for leading him on for so long and telling him you've been cruelly coy for far too long and that he deserves far, far better than yourself.

It's only the truth!"
Damn, I see a second career here on the horizon! :thumbsup: ;)

[Fiona]

Sad. She's "needy" enough to call him her "boyfriend" and stay with him and do the take role for an extended length of time, two times...but she's got it all together??? LOL Yeah. She sounds like the epitome of selfish me-ness. I'm sure this poor guy can do better. I'd say just tell him what you told him when you left him for 4 years before. It must have worked then...do it again you selfish witch. LOL I can't even relate.:thumbsup::thumbsup:

[Fiona]

"Dear Manipulative Bitch,
...
It's only the truth!":thumbsup::lol: