Going to See the Butt Light Doc

[ShinyTop]

I have my appointment with the doctor who wants to see if she can see anything up the nether regions. I guess tomorrow she will just scare the hell out of me telling what indignities they are going to inflict on me. Growing old with dignity is sure fun.

[Coriolis]

It's not everyday you get your colon illuminated. Look on the bright side! :)

[Coot]

It's not everyday you get your colon illuminated. Look on the bright side! :)
And some things were never meant to see the light of day ;)

[FrankF]

I read something about a little camera that you can swallow... about the size of a large capsule. It winds it's way through your innards and then comes out, and doctors can see everything on a computer monitor. Sorry I don't have a link. I remember the article said it was made for "one-time use" though.

[ethics]

I read something about a little camera that you can swallow... about the size of a large capsule. It winds it's way through your innards and then comes out, and doctors can see everything on a computer monitor. Sorry I don't have a link. I remember the article said it was made for "one-time use" though.
You must mean this. (http://www.globalaffairs.org/forum/showpost.php?p=167567&postcount=1)

[LissaKay]

Butt Light, eh?

So will you be able to finally settle the age old debate?

Great taste? Less filling?

[Coot]

Butt Light, eh?

So will you be able to finally settle the age old debate?

Great taste? Less filling?
Now that's sick; hehe :P

[Sierra Mike]

Well, here's hoping it's less filling.

SM

[Coot]

Well, it looks like your doctor is ready Shiny

[Misu]

Shiny, join the club.

The hospital lit my colon up Christmas eve morning.

You know, I never felt such absolute indignity as I did Christmas eve morning, when I, for whatever reason, was not able to prep myself for this oh-so-wonderful procedure, and required a nurse to help me. When the other nurse came in with the water solution (the final one, which I swear to you, is about a liter of liquid), I could tell she was in a bad mood, and she didn't care that I was terrified - to her, I was just another ass she had to fill with water. And she actually tried to do that entire liter of water in 1 shot! I screamed at her and to split it into two sessions, and she has the nerve to tell me, on christmas eve while I have a tube stuck up my rear and water rushing into my entrails, "oh this is nothing - you'd be surprised how much fits in there"....

....

At least you're not getting it done on christmas eve, like I did.

Oh, and that crap that they tell you that you're asleep - it's not true. They tried to put me to sleep, but I was so terrified and nervous of what was going on, that the anesthesia they used didn't work. I don't remember feeling pain - I just remember one of the older nurses hopping up on the gurney with me and hugging me the whole time, because I was crying hysterically I was so terrified.

Good luck shiny, and may your experience be a million times better than mine was.

[ShinyTop]

Thanks Misu, I feel much better now. I am going to stop at the local gun store and buy a Glock 23 on my way. We will be gentle, won't we ,Doc?

[bruzzes]

Mine was a piece of cake.

Well maybe not the best choice of words...

Had a chance to ask him if he could find my gerbil.

It lasted less than two minutes and had only a 2 second period of "oh oh".

The enema holding was the worst part of the procedure and also the best.

Mine was the less invasive Sigmoidoscopy.

[IamZed]

Pt’s not the end of the world. I had it done when I had roids and polyps and I walked out all right. No drugs were involved so I could drive away right after.

[BigDeputyDog]

Just make sure the doc washes his hands if he's had jalepenos, Oh Shiny One... ;)

Good luck and happy hunting!!

BDD... :{)

[tke711]

Just use this opportunity to mess with the doctor. When he's about to insert the camera, yell, "Give it to me baby!!! Oh ya!!!!!"

The expression on his face will probably be precious. :)

All joking aside, good luck ST!

[ShinyTop]

Just use this opportunity to mess with the doctor. When he's about to insert the camera, yell, "Give it to me baby!!! Oh ya!!!!!"

The expression on his face will probably be precious. :)

All joking aside, good luck ST!

I think after he inserts the camera I should just say, "I had better last night."

Or a sign on my butt saying "Two hands on my sholders is not acceptable."

Or a sign saying "How sure are you that it all came out?"

[SixofNine]

Good luck, Shiny. As I mentioned in an earlier thread, I had such a good buzz going that they could have had Gimli crawling through there looking for dwarf treasure and I wouldn't have cared.

Brian

[ethics]

Good luck, Shiny. As I mentioned in an earlier thread, I had such a good buzz going that they could have had Gimli crawling through there looking for dwarf treasure and I wouldn't have cared.

Brianrofl Oh the humanity!!!! :holyshit:

[ShinyTop]

Well, I had my appointment. How come your appointment is with a doctor and you see a PA instead?

Anyway I am scheduled for next Thursday. We are not using the swallowable cameras here so we get to do it the old fashioned way. Well maybe a little better. The day before I get to take 20 pills and 5 8 oz glasses of clear liquid between 5 and 6 PM instead of drinking a nauseous fluid. Frankly drinking that much that quick has been known to make me sick, but what the hell, I don't want to enjoy this, I might make it a habit.

The morning of the procedure I have to take 4 more at 5 AM and 4 more at 515. On top of the indignity of getting up at such weird hours (I only recognize one 5 O'Clock and it ain't in the AM) I also cannot consume any solid food the day before, that's right, the whole day. Seems like they could do with one or the other, no food or the pills. Both seems like overkill. Did they get in this specialty never expecting to see anything brown? It's the butt, doctor, the butt!

[BigDeputyDog]

Shiny, the day before, since you can consume no solids, make lots of castor oil shakes with blended refried beans, pickled eggs, and garlic... That'll teach em... ;)

rofl

BDD... :{)

[ShinyTop]

Hey, I just realized if they give me any good pics I can add them to my gallery. Of course, one asshole looks like another.

[mikepd]

Now Shiny, don't go making me post movies on why they want a clean colon so a complete evaluation can be done and nothing missed or something that appears suspicious turns out to be just last night's pepperoni pizza.

We used to have similar difficulties all the time with patients who would not follow bowel prep for x-ray studies.

If they were incompletely prepped we sometimes were able to get the study done by switching to a double-contrast air study which put both barium and air into the colon.

CO2 or air can be put into the bowel for colonoscopies as well for further information if needed. So comply with all prep procedures or you too will get the 'full treatment'. :)

Any problems with the staff or anything less than a complete clean bill of health and Rocco and Guido stand ready to show them the 'error of their ways'.

All the best.


Mike

[Misu]

I had a nurse tell me that there can be fecal matter inside the intestines from food you consumed up to 6 weeks prior. This is why they don't want you to eat anything the day before - they want you as clean as possible.

At least you're not getting the enema from hell. Lucky bastard. :love:

[SixofNine]

I had a nurse tell me that there can be fecal matter inside the intestines from food you consumed up to 6 weeks prior. This is why they don't want you to eat anything the day before - they want you as clean as possible.

Yeah, I went through the "drink a ton of this crap the night before" regimen. Keep lots of good reading material in the bathroom. :)

In my moments of lucidity the color monitor showed that my plumbing was very clean, though it was kind of funny when the doctor pointed out a kernel of corn. :)

Brian

[mikepd]

At least you're not getting the enema from hell. Lucky bastard. :love:


Probably the (in)famous SSE until clear order. One of the most ingenious legal tortures know to the human race.

Ah yes, nothing like a good old fashioned soap suds enema until clear to give one that squeaky clean feeling. :)

[ShinyTop]

I went through the pills and the cleaning out. And I went to the Endoscopy center to have the colonoscopy. And I remember laying on the table on my left side. Then I remember waking up in the recovery area. No discomfort today, no pain anywhere.

Results were two polyps, both looking benign but sent for test. He also recorded some of the heart rhythms from the monitor and said I should take the recordings to the doctor. Grumble, grumble. Apparently I have some irregularities while sleeping.

[cdw]

shesh man. you are a disaster! what has the wife been feeding you lately?
j/k...

glad to hear the test is over and done with and more than likely nothing is wrong. are you sure it isn't normal to have some kind of irregularities when someone is probing you in the butt while you are sleeping? I know it always makes my heart jump a little... :)

[ShinyTop]

Gotta admit, Cyd, my experience is limited unless I have suppressed memories.

[cdw]

hey...what happened with this? Are they removing the polyps and did you take your readout to the other doctor?

[ShinyTop]

Seeing my doc on the 26th to show him the heart read out. He should have polyp results by then, too. Thanks for asking.

[mikepd]

OK, Shiny, fess up. The results better have been nothing less than spectacularly great else Rocco and Guido will take a road trip to the doctor (they all be quacks anyway) and inform him that nothing less than a life expectancy of a very healthy 110 years is acceptable. The human body is engineered to last a good 120 if it is taken proper care of and there are people in the former SU and other places who can attest to this.

We treasure your posts and they make my day so to speak.

So let's have a full and complete report and don't skimp on the details.


Mike

[ShinyTop]

Polyps were pre cancerous, but like 10 years from being cancer, so continued scopes every 5 years should be sufficient. The heart arythymia found during the procedure was laughed at by my doc. We have known about that for 30 years. Good checkup. And I offered to kiss him for his reports to the disability dertermination folks but he declined. Whew!

[mikepd]

:thumbsup: Very good! Heart arrhythmias can mean absolutely nothing depending on the patient as in your case. As long as your doctor is aware of them and puts them in proper medical context then there is little to worry about.

Polyps can be monitored also and again as long as you and your doctor are aware of them, take any diet changes or any other changes if indicated then no worries.

People need to be aware of their bodies and what is going on with them. By the time some systems show signs of physical wear (the kidneys are good for this at 85% damage before symptoms show) it can be very difficult to treat.

As always, the earlier something is detected, the better the outcome.

That is the sort of report I like to hear Shiny and keep up the good work!

:thumbsup:

[Stiofán]

And I offered to kiss him for his reports to the disability dertermination folks but he declined.
After looking at photos of your chute, I would hope he'd decline. If he didn't I would definitely ask for the negatives before he posts them on the net.

[ethics]

Cool, good news. :)

[cdw]

Glad to hear everything came out ok! rofl