Correcting personal weaknesses...

[bruzzes]

One of the greatest lessons in my personal life was the implementation of a twelve step program that taught me a way to gain control of my life.

I do not follow all twelve steps but a selected few that I follow on a daily basis. One of those steps is to take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses.

This is a daunting task, as one tends to be rather subjective in one's analysis. What is so intriguing is that once a list is made, especially of your weaknesses, you are instructed to correct them.

This is not an easy thing to do.

My greatest weakness is revenge.

My latest "problem" revolves around my work place.

As some of you know, I am the Supervisor of Quality Control for a manufacturing company that makes tube and pipe connectors.
The title is illusionary, as I am neither treated as a supervisor nor have any control of quality. Essentially, I am only a processor of finished goods. All control is held by a petty tyrant who is in charge of production and every aspect of the business. This duplicitous person over-rules both myself and the Quality Engineer on matters of quality products. We are ISO 9001-2000 approved, but the elements are paper chased for compliance without following any of the procedures.

To get to the crux of my problem, I have lost all the employees in my department (3 under me) and am the only surviver. The workload has increased 3 fold in that time period. I am hopelessly behind in all aspects of my job duties despite my overtime. The good employees are constantly harassed by adding more work and cajoled with wise-assed remarks. Meanwhile, the bad employees are treated with great deference and remain un-disciplined. Their total disregard for the company and it's policies has resulted in punishment for the whole.

Last Friday, this "boss" came into my department and notified me that my access to the Internet was going to be disabled Monday.
I have not abused this privilege, and only go online prior to work and at the 1/2 lunch time period. However, another employee next to my department has abused this privilege and may have been the catalyst for this edict.

I guess I am over-stressed from my work load and the total disregard for the amount of work that I contribute to the successful operation of this business.

I am now filled with disgust and have been plotting in my mind on how to sabotage this individual. Unfortunately, this has ratcheted up in my mind to affect the whole company.

I am hoping to be strong enough to overcome this weakness of mine and am confident I shall succeed. Still, it is perhaps a fight I cannot win. Sometimes I yield to temptation and perform an act I am ashamed of, other times I remain strong.

Anyway, I needed to blow off a little steam here.
My first thought was to place this thread in the Rant forum, for it might be construed as such, but I also thought it might be a relevant topic for this forum as well.

How does one deal with individual weaknesses?
Has anyone here done a personal inventory?
Has anyone here made a concerted effort to overcome these weaknesses?

I would be very much interested in your opinions and responces.

[mikeky]

I know very well what you mean. I have a tendency to hold a grudge against others, for sometimes even fairly petty things. It has eased as I've gotten older, mostly because it's become easier to separate the important from the trivial, but I can still get worked up. Fortunately, I've learned confronting the issue head-on with the grudgee is many times the best way to go. Seems that's the key to most of my shortcomings, taking a real look at the cause and reaction, deciding what's important and what's not, and then either dropping it or taking some action.

While I've never been big on overt revenge, I can understand how you feel, and in your situation I would probably make an effort to change jobs and get away before the temptation was too great, hoping that in itself would satisfy the need for revenge (it usually doesn't at first, but does later). As I left, I might also indicate some of the areas in which they were vulnerable to audit, etc., hoping it would cause them at least some grief in trying to correct some issues, and if not, at least give a them a few fitful nights sleep (:)). Anything else I imagine will end up hurting you more than them.

[bruzzes]

Thanks mikeky.
Revenge is only sweet when it remains as an illusion.
The actual practice ends up doing more harm than good.

I, too have grown wiser with age, and that is why I am confident that I won't seek the revenge.

As for leaving my employment, there are tons of reasons why I don't. Most of them are rationalizations.

I have never made this much money in my life, 13.95 an hour and doubt seriously if I could find a comparable job.
I am 53 years old and that is another minor problem to contend with.
Also I need the medical benefits for my wife and grandson, and have enjoyed 1st shift for many years now, not to mention the year or so I may have to spend without my present 2 week vacation time.

I know these are minor concerns and without risk one will not ever gain the rewards that may be possible by switching jobs.
Laziness, and the continuing doubt that my qualities are not good enough for a comparable job also stop me.

Thanks for your response!

[jfcjrus]

Originally posted by bruzzes
I am 53 years old and that is another minor problem to contend with.
Also I need the medical benefits for my wife and grandson, and have enjoyed 1st shift for many years now, not to mention the year or so I may have to spend without my present 2 week vacation time.

I know these are minor concerns and without risk one will not ever gain the rewards that may be possible by switching jobs.
Laziness, and the continuing doubt that my qualities are not good enough for a comparable job also stop me.
There ya go.
You know what you have to do, you're just pissed about it.
You've been around the block enough times (like me) to know what's really important to you.

You're no longer a young idealistic pup that can afford to say 'screw it'. (oh, how I remember those times ;) )
Ya, it certainly sucks to be a mature, responsible adult!
To see the inequities.
To see the unfairness.
To see the bullshit.
And have to suck it up, due to responsibilities, or just finally understanding that this is the way it's working right now and there's really nothing you can do to change it.

Ya gotta hang in there, pal.
Don't let it get to you.
Do a good job, but don't kill yourself.

Of course, being experienced enough to subtly illustrate that an understaffed project's failure is due to the cocky, politically connected, pup responsible for it is not unreasonable. ;)

Good luck.
Regards,

[bruzzes]

LOL!

Yeah, I knew the answer all along.
Exactly as you wrote it!

Maybe it SHOULD have been posted in the Rant forum.

I just wondered how others deal with their problems.

[mikeky]

Originally posted by jfcjrus
...You're no longer a young idealistic pup that can afford to say 'screw it'. (oh, how I remember those times ;) )
Ya, it certainly sucks to be a mature, responsible adult!
To see the inequities.
To see the unfairness.
To see the bullshit.
And have to suck it up, due to responsibilities, or just finally understanding that this is the way it's working right now and there's really nothing you can do to change it.
...
Well put and very true. Hang in there Bruzzes.

[jfcjrus]

Originally posted by bruzzes
I just wondered how others deal with their problems.
Not to speak for anyone else, but I deal with them about the same as you seem to be..
Generally pissed, and concerned, what with the war and the economy, and all. Generally grumpy.

It's been a long cold winter around here.
Been couped up too long.
But, Spring does lift the spirits a bit.
Time for me & the pup to go fishing, and reflect on things.

Simplistic, I know.
But, I suspect that you know what I mean. ;)

Regards,

[Biker]

Yeah.. Definitely time to drown a worm or two and take a weekend off. Just wish it would warm up. Snowed last night. Nothing major, but just enough in the headlights to let you know that winter isn't quite done with us yet.